Equipoise

One Day At a Time: Equipoise.

Well, I know I passed Drunken Soberness long ago. Drunken Soberness is a label Zen Masters have given to their experience. I hark back to the days when I was imbibing liquid mind altering concoctions and other experiences.

Once upon a time I was given brownies on a bus heading to a WHO concert. Yum, I said as I reached for the desert to grab two, they were a bit small portions in my estimation. The concert was very way cool. I remember feeling how great the music sounded, how it really seemed so harmonious and the crowd was so in tune with my every response to the experience of the performance. In retrospect, I can see how the pot infused brownies enhanced my experience of the performance. A lot like what I experience these days without eating brownies! I also remember being the designated driver back when and being exposed to second hand smoke from wacky tabacky.  And, those experiences also expanded my sight and hearing into more pleasurable experiences.

My previous experiences of drinking alcohol, some 20 or so years ago... moved me to experience times of losing control of body function, stumbling around and getting really happy, laughing at everything. Physical boundaries would get really hazy and my verbal and cognitive functions were not up to par, by any stretch to normal baseline. Now I am finding it difficult to accept the limitations and challenges these naturally occurring alchemicals create for my cognitive processes. Overcoming the Ecstatic addiction phase has been intense. Pushing back into cognitive processing takes effort.

I haven’t ever taken or been exposed to any of the hard drugs, controlled substances. And, I do know now why people take them. Living with this ever-flowing hourly production of this complex chemical cocktail has been challenging to say the least. I have talked to a few folks about their experiences. Cocaine users speak of the aftertaste, the acrid tasting drip that comes after taking the White Powder. These conversations have been a very helpful aid to understanding what I am experiencing these days. When it first started dripping three years ago it was a bit bitter, these days it is much sweeter...The Nectar of Immortality.  In the last year, I have stepped into psychedelic scenes fairly often. They don’t freak me out these days. When I do my Surya Practices it can be kind of fun to play with the colors. I have been able to breath into different chakras which turns my landscape into different colors. I haven't flipped into ALL Gold in awhile, that is a bit harder to come out of, takes more cooling practices. It is just part and parcel of the process. I continue to wade into experiencing hallucinogenic times. Those ain’t so easy to get used to, but more tolerable to this little monk-ette lately. Really have to be watchful of my mental material and exposure to music.  I just saw Wanderlust this past month. And, Ho Boy did I relate to the scenes where the actors had taken Ayahuasca. I have heard flowers singing, trees talking and the birds singing in such harmonic tunes. The Beauty is so over-whelming. I have walked around with tears streaming down my face from ecstatic joy.

These days, I am Working to put one foot in front of the next, do enough Yoga to ground into daily living and not walk around with tears streaming down my face….folks don’t’ cotton to thinking that is an acceptable expression of daily living. Come back to chop wood that doesn’t sing and carry water that isn’t too hot or too cold. Extremes of temperature cause interesting changes in my eye sight or shall I say how the colors are experienced in my surrounding landscape. When I heat up the colors get really wild which tells me to do my internal cooling practices. When my thoughts get too wild, I do my internal cooling practices. Thank you Goddess for perseverance.

Goddess of Hathor placing the magic collar on Seti I from the Tomb of Seti I,
 New Kingdom, XIX Dynasty, 1314-1200 BC, Louve.

Speaking of Goddesses...This is an image of Hathor, an Ancient Egyptian Goddess who personified the principles of Love, Joy, Beauty, Music, Dance and Motherhood. She is the Deity that wore the Solar Crown in their mythology. It was thought that when "She" placed the magic collar onto the Pharaoh it connected him to the Goddess Energy.

These days when I introduce the Second Praise Ascension Attitude while standing in the sun my crown chakra just opens up to flood my throat with the Golden Elixir, really cool experience. No doctor prescribed medications or corner bought baggy!!!  My bedroom window has an Eastern exposure so I can lie in bed and Ascend in the Morning Sunlight which allows the Elixir to flow more smoothly, streaming down into my tummy. I have taken to eating mints pretty constantly to ease the burn in my stomach and intestines of late. Had to get a new supply before Yoga Class last night. I knew I was not going to be able to get through the class without some mints to ease the burn of an hour and a half class. Woke up this morning to crystals clogging my nose... it doesn't happen to often...used some sesame oil to rub it into my system. Not much of a difference from the "new normal" been experiencing of late. Crystals??? Is that Crystal Meth??? Coming out of my nose???

I ran about 10 steps to try and catch a bus leaving from the curve this afternoon, not a smart move on my part. Went into a really big overload of thoughts and feelings of WOW O WOW, colors and some pain rushing through me. More Chi running through the system heals more old wounds, FASTER... one more level of purification and added RUSH.

Enlightenment includes moments of psychedelic scenery = colors so Beautiful, the term kaleidoscopic eyes now has meaning - hours of hallucinogenic experiences = really weird stuff and many more Donnie Darko times like didn't I just do that, feelings of expansion beyond anything one could write about and LOVE...lots of feelings of connecting to everything.  

This past weekend was a rough one. More Agni moving into more systems to heal and grow them. The principles of The Golden Elixir are easy once you understand the underlying dynamics; Simple, but not Easy! The burn in my stomach which feels like a bad case of heartburn has moved into my intestines, lungs, legs and eyes. Focusing on this computer screen is causing a subtle burn in the lenses of my eyes and a burning sensation in my brain. Until I need to go stick my head in the freezer to ease the brain burn or ice my eyes, I write and think as long as the pain allows. Finding better practices eases the process, just one step at a time.

Had a GREAT massage last evening....sending out much praise to that practitioner. This morning awoke into feeling the Elixir weeping into my alimentary canal. It feels much like what you would think a tree feels when it's sap  is running down it's outer, bark skin. In contrast this sensation is on the inside of the body. Other tissues that took a lot of trauma in years gone by are feeling like little bee stings of energy popping as the body moves...OM Praise be to All the All Powerful Arms pulling US up into the Glory of God!

And now these days my throat is closing up on me when I start to eat solid food...only when I chew food. O the Beauty of body wisdom, when I have the wisdom to listen to it. Choking is not a pleasant sensation, so I have taken to blending my food. Bought some really great baby food the other day. The label guarantees no GMO's, gluten free, no soy, wheat or dairy either! I guess breatharian does mean not eating a whole lot of anything.

How do we get to PARADISE without breaking the Butterflies????

Anybody see the movie What if???? www.whatifthemovie.tv 

Higher states require more practices, more patience, more endurance, more wisdom and they offer more choices.

Blessings Be,

Ashoka Aurora Ishaya

www.ishayaintegralcoaching.com

www.kundaliniinitiator.com

Waiting for SuperMen and Women

Feeling the need to blog about the newest level of development been experiencing of late.

Watched a movie last night, ”Waiting for Superman” which is an excellent movie for this time of our planetary evolution. 

Has anyone else seen it? Really on point about how to solve our educational crisis and many of our business  issues as well, as I blog on this country’s Birthday.

Anyway that bunny trail goes on for some time, I digress.  I am flowing to express and not regress in this moment. So, my feet have taken a beating in past years and now I am finding that this alchemical process is healing them into a new expression. How do I ascertain that? Well, if I use them for longer periods of time or overuse them, they begin to burn. And, I do mean that most factually. Probably, just like someone would feel if they were to walk on hot coals. Have adopted the practice of icing them in order to be able to use them.

Also, after my sleep state cycle I woke up to experiencing my eyes burning. I have had to ice them many times over the past few months in order to ease the pain of overuse as well. I had lasik surgery years ago; my bookworm habits had grown my eyes into needing coke bottle bottom lenses in order to get to the bathroom. My Root Teacher: MSI had recommended to me to get them done. And, when he shares wisdom with me I tend to heed his words and follow his example.

This Alchemical Journey has been a royal pain. One that I am growing into royal ease with more grace and less time; I pray, pray, pray.

This Great Work does require Great Patience and Great Indurance. When I overdo using my cognitive practices, crystals form in my nose. Instead of the chemicals draining down my throat they mature and form another structure in my nose. Isn’t that interesting??? I could put them in a baggy and sell them on a cornerJ Manufacturing my own Brain Cocaine!!! Or is that crack? Heroin would be the liquid growing down my throat? With DMT mixed in??? O well, I never did any of those state training experiences. A bit to my regret. I have been a tea tottler in most recent years. And, was a wine drinker in the day. But then after my divorce I do admit to taking a liking to Long Island Ice Teas and Trance Dancing  - It tasted like tea! Jazz dancing at The Papillon.

So, If you see me picking my nose more often these days, my crots have evolved, too! Tasty little boogers they are that’s a fact Jack.

I have spoken of the psychedelic scenes in previous posts. When I step into those landscapes these days, it doesn’t weird me out so much. Just another something weird and wonderful to get used to. Seeing Horses of a Different Color is OK, when one learns they don’t jump out and bite you….at least in this world. Be Here Now, takes on new meaning when one is able to visit other  ones. 

Blessings Be,

Ashoka Aurora Ishaya

www.ishayaintegralcoaching.com

www.kundaliniinitiator.com

Rhapsody, Ravel and Rolling in the Deep

So, it has been a harmonic creation of synchronicities and anachronicities of late. As one evolves the dreamer and the dream becomes less distinguishable, one seam of time blending into another, one level of reality cycling into the next – hopefully with more ease and grace. As I was off for an appointment with destiny, running late into my building’s elevator, rushing to stop to catch my breath and turning to my companion who shared my downward ride to chat, “How are you?” Glorious day!... and then some small knowing urged me to ask him, “What do you do for a living?” His response was that he drove a taxi when he wasn’t in school. So, I asked him for a lift to the train. And, off we went. He dropped me off with a smile, and refusal of payment cheerily saying “Have a Great Day.” I was short on cash and really didn’t have the time to do the credit dance, so I was immensely grateful. I had given his wife a couple of dresses the day before. Spring cleaning and moving out the old to make room for the new – one good turn deserves another – paying it forward in hopes that someday the return wave will sweep me onward into more waves of gratitude.

Each new day awakens more of this dripping and flowing divine nectar within my brain and down my throat. It has been causing me many moments of challenge and skill building opportunities. One of my coaching clients plays the viola in the Civic Orchestra of Chicago. He gifted me with tickets to his latest performance. I was so excited to attend a symphony performance – Ravels Rapsodie espagnole was the first presentation of the evening. I was hesitant to attend after the day I had had dealing with these phenomena. When I went for a run, or shall I say when I attempted to go for a run earlier this morning I moved into psychedelic scenes so quickly it was startling to me, so I walked and watched the straight lines in the sidewalk. I have had scenes of multi colors, but this time it was minutes of dancing scenes from Yellow Submarine, the Beatles movie but much more!!!! Can colors become brighter, and brighter??? I made the last leg of the journey by bus, holding onto my rolling stomach and the hand rail, praying not to throw up my earlier meal of oatmeal.

My eyes were burning so badly from studying, reading a lit computer screen and cognitively working to make sense of someone else’s research… that I have been icing them with ice cubes. My ears were ringing so much that I went to soak my head in the bathtub. Literally, submerging my head in water felt so much better than having multi=hued tones ringing throughout my head, I could feel my teeth and bones subtly vibrate….really interesting experience, one that I didn’t want to get used to in that moment. What you resist persists until you get used to it, one tiny little baby step at a time.

So as I was planning to attend the evening’s performance, I made sure to warn my companion that if I needed to leave, I needed to leave. Taking care of this divine flow requires mindfulness choices of exposure to continued life experiences. We got there late and had to wait for the next seating. I stood at the entrance to the auditorium tuning into the interplay of sounds, letting them wash over me, stepping into sensing if I could handle the upcoming experience. Knowing that I could leave and yet wanting to flow into the experience with ease and grace. I had, had season tickets to the Pittsburgh Symphony for years. So love classical music; so had previous life experience of listening to live, large glorious performances. As the music died down, the clapping of appreciation for the performance waned and the doors opened to admit those of us waiting to be seated.  I walked into the auditorium to view down into a chasm of unending auditorium. Whoa, the steps seemed to by incredibly steep and my vertigo clinched my stomach muscles. I didn’t fold over to drop my head between my knees but looked to the right where the usher was pointing at two seats conveniently within in “no throw up” range. I side stepped to make a grateful landing in a cushioned seat a familiar sensation that didn’t cause me pain or concern. Comfort and ease is a valued commodity when these phenomena flow over and through me at an overwhelming rate.

The auditorium quieted and the conductor, Riccardo Muti came onto the stage, the applause sounded into and through the auditorium and set my bones and teeth to humming. As the symphony began to play and the harmonies flowed over and through my body the sensations washed through me. IT BECAME GLORIOUS. The notes started to play my organs and eyes and bones and lips and …I just sat back and let the drip flow.  It rolled down the back of my throat and the colors popped infront and behind my eyes. Then the psychedelic scenes in front of my eyes eased and the drip rolled into a stream down the back of my throat. Standing waiting to be seated had caused me a level of trepidation. “Was I going to be able to sit and withstand the vibrational exposure to so much, so fast?” As I sat listening to the harmonies and symphonic beauty of the music tingling over and through my being, I was relieved to be able to sit and enjoy the brilliant experience. As the dripping flowed down my throat the music became more and more soft and distant, like walking after a snow storm all quiet and soft with the music just wafting along the silence.

After that night’s performance my phenomenon went into overdrive. My lungs and intestines were burning fairly continuously to the point that only by taking small bites of apple and eating a few almonds at a time kept the burning sensation down to tolerable. I was icing my eyes pretty nonstop to keep the burning sensation to tolerable. Every morning thereafter for a time was a challenge. Sleep state creates more bliss chemicals which creates more expansion which creates more change which creates more yoga asanas and more mindfulness skills to ease the transformation….omnivores, herbivores/vegetarians, fruitarians, breatharians…time will tell. The proof is in the pudding; and my pudding is flowing fairly regularly.

Xana La Fuente's Photos

Thanks Xana La Fuente for capturing what my eyes have been seeing of late. Too cool photo!!!!

 Sleep state does create more of the Bliss Chemicals and so does standing in the wind and sunshine!!! More chi coming into my system creates fun times. Just been reading Daniel Goleman's Meditative Mind in the introduction he speaks of Maharaji Neemkaroli Baba's stage development. Baba had ingested a huge dose of psychedelics and nothing happened!!! There was nowhere for his awareness to go; he was already experiencing psychedelic landscapes. I ain't gonna take a hand-full of psychedelics cause my stomach is burning pretty hard from all this Golden Elixir and I see too many of these scenes already. Course I am getting used to them. They are lovely...course this is the 2 dimensional version. Think of this picture with light playing through the scene and add a whole lot of sparkles. I have learned to focus on the cracks in the sidewalk to keep me walking in a straight line. Well, they are supposed to be straight. They get a bit squiggly for me at times.

Onward and Upward,

Ashoka Ishaya

www.ishayaintegralcoaching.com

www.kundaliniinitiator.com