Equipoise

One Day At a Time: Equipoise.

Well, I know I passed Drunken Soberness long ago. Drunken Soberness is a label Zen Masters have given to their experience. I hark back to the days when I was imbibing liquid mind altering concoctions and other experiences.

Once upon a time I was given brownies on a bus heading to a WHO concert. Yum, I said as I reached for the desert to grab two, they were a bit small portions in my estimation. The concert was very way cool. I remember feeling how great the music sounded, how it really seemed so harmonious and the crowd was so in tune with my every response to the experience of the performance. In retrospect, I can see how the pot infused brownies enhanced my experience of the performance. A lot like what I experience these days without eating brownies! I also remember being the designated driver back when and being exposed to second hand smoke from wacky tabacky.  And, those experiences also expanded my sight and hearing into more pleasurable experiences.

My previous experiences of drinking alcohol, some 20 or so years ago... moved me to experience times of losing control of body function, stumbling around and getting really happy, laughing at everything. Physical boundaries would get really hazy and my verbal and cognitive functions were not up to par, by any stretch to normal baseline. Now I am finding it difficult to accept the limitations and challenges these naturally occurring alchemicals create for my cognitive processes. Overcoming the Ecstatic addiction phase has been intense. Pushing back into cognitive processing takes effort.

I haven’t ever taken or been exposed to any of the hard drugs, controlled substances. And, I do know now why people take them. Living with this ever-flowing hourly production of this complex chemical cocktail has been challenging to say the least. I have talked to a few folks about their experiences. Cocaine users speak of the aftertaste, the acrid tasting drip that comes after taking the White Powder. These conversations have been a very helpful aid to understanding what I am experiencing these days. When it first started dripping three years ago it was a bit bitter, these days it is much sweeter...The Nectar of Immortality.  In the last year, I have stepped into psychedelic scenes fairly often. They don’t freak me out these days. When I do my Surya Practices it can be kind of fun to play with the colors. I have been able to breath into different chakras which turns my landscape into different colors. I haven't flipped into ALL Gold in awhile, that is a bit harder to come out of, takes more cooling practices. It is just part and parcel of the process. I continue to wade into experiencing hallucinogenic times. Those ain’t so easy to get used to, but more tolerable to this little monk-ette lately. Really have to be watchful of my mental material and exposure to music.  I just saw Wanderlust this past month. And, Ho Boy did I relate to the scenes where the actors had taken Ayahuasca. I have heard flowers singing, trees talking and the birds singing in such harmonic tunes. The Beauty is so over-whelming. I have walked around with tears streaming down my face from ecstatic joy.

These days, I am Working to put one foot in front of the next, do enough Yoga to ground into daily living and not walk around with tears streaming down my face….folks don’t’ cotton to thinking that is an acceptable expression of daily living. Come back to chop wood that doesn’t sing and carry water that isn’t too hot or too cold. Extremes of temperature cause interesting changes in my eye sight or shall I say how the colors are experienced in my surrounding landscape. When I heat up the colors get really wild which tells me to do my internal cooling practices. When my thoughts get too wild, I do my internal cooling practices. Thank you Goddess for perseverance.

Goddess of Hathor placing the magic collar on Seti I from the Tomb of Seti I,
 New Kingdom, XIX Dynasty, 1314-1200 BC, Louve.

Speaking of Goddesses...This is an image of Hathor, an Ancient Egyptian Goddess who personified the principles of Love, Joy, Beauty, Music, Dance and Motherhood. She is the Deity that wore the Solar Crown in their mythology. It was thought that when "She" placed the magic collar onto the Pharaoh it connected him to the Goddess Energy.

These days when I introduce the Second Praise Ascension Attitude while standing in the sun my crown chakra just opens up to flood my throat with the Golden Elixir, really cool experience. No doctor prescribed medications or corner bought baggy!!!  My bedroom window has an Eastern exposure so I can lie in bed and Ascend in the Morning Sunlight which allows the Elixir to flow more smoothly, streaming down into my tummy. I have taken to eating mints pretty constantly to ease the burn in my stomach and intestines of late. Had to get a new supply before Yoga Class last night. I knew I was not going to be able to get through the class without some mints to ease the burn of an hour and a half class. Woke up this morning to crystals clogging my nose... it doesn't happen to often...used some sesame oil to rub it into my system. Not much of a difference from the "new normal" been experiencing of late. Crystals??? Is that Crystal Meth??? Coming out of my nose???

I ran about 10 steps to try and catch a bus leaving from the curve this afternoon, not a smart move on my part. Went into a really big overload of thoughts and feelings of WOW O WOW, colors and some pain rushing through me. More Chi running through the system heals more old wounds, FASTER... one more level of purification and added RUSH.

Enlightenment includes moments of psychedelic scenery = colors so Beautiful, the term kaleidoscopic eyes now has meaning - hours of hallucinogenic experiences = really weird stuff and many more Donnie Darko times like didn't I just do that, feelings of expansion beyond anything one could write about and LOVE...lots of feelings of connecting to everything.  

This past weekend was a rough one. More Agni moving into more systems to heal and grow them. The principles of The Golden Elixir are easy once you understand the underlying dynamics; Simple, but not Easy! The burn in my stomach which feels like a bad case of heartburn has moved into my intestines, lungs, legs and eyes. Focusing on this computer screen is causing a subtle burn in the lenses of my eyes and a burning sensation in my brain. Until I need to go stick my head in the freezer to ease the brain burn or ice my eyes, I write and think as long as the pain allows. Finding better practices eases the process, just one step at a time.

Had a GREAT massage last evening....sending out much praise to that practitioner. This morning awoke into feeling the Elixir weeping into my alimentary canal. It feels much like what you would think a tree feels when it's sap  is running down it's outer, bark skin. In contrast this sensation is on the inside of the body. Other tissues that took a lot of trauma in years gone by are feeling like little bee stings of energy popping as the body moves...OM Praise be to All the All Powerful Arms pulling US up into the Glory of God!

And now these days my throat is closing up on me when I start to eat solid food...only when I chew food. O the Beauty of body wisdom, when I have the wisdom to listen to it. Choking is not a pleasant sensation, so I have taken to blending my food. Bought some really great baby food the other day. The label guarantees no GMO's, gluten free, no soy, wheat or dairy either! I guess breatharian does mean not eating a whole lot of anything.

How do we get to PARADISE without breaking the Butterflies????

Anybody see the movie What if???? www.whatifthemovie.tv 

Higher states require more practices, more patience, more endurance, more wisdom and they offer more choices.

Blessings Be,

Ashoka Aurora Ishaya

www.ishayaintegralcoaching.com

www.kundaliniinitiator.com